FISH SATIRE
Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2025 6:47 am
This is a letter I wrote to the frontiersman newspaper in Wasilla Alaska in 1992. They did not accept it for publication. That did not surprise me in the slightest.
This satire was pinned by James (Jim) Bridges in 1992.
Legend;
Wasilly Smelly Business. is really Wasilla Refuse.
Wasilly, Alaska is really Wasilla, Alaska
Rat Corney is really Pat Carney (politician).
Domineering Corney is really Pat's brother Dominic.
Grouper-Big-Fish Gang is really Alaska legislators.
Any-Gore-Age is really Anchorage.
APUC is really Alaska Public Utilities Commission.
Also known as Alaska people up a Creek.
Tiny Tim Little Fish is really a Small 2 truck business.
Jew-You-Know-Who is really Juno Alaska state capital.
Dear Editor,
I am writing you about another Alaska Fish Story.
It take place in the small town of Wasilly, Alaska.
This town is not a real town of course. The people that live in Wasilly
are not real people either. They are really just little worms and several big fish.
You see this town of worms is controlled by the big fish that are getting fat off the worms.
The two main villains in this story are a couple of crooked big fish by the names of Rat Corney and his nasty brother Domineering Corney.
There have a crew which consist of:
The Grouper-Big-Fish Gang in the capital called, Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska. The Corney brothers control the Bad-Fish-Egg Gang in Any-Gore-Age, Alaska. The Bad-Fish-Egg Gang call themselves APUC. APUC stands for “Alaska People Up a Creek" which is just where the Corney brothers want to keep the worms in and around Wasilly.
Rat lost his run for reelection and had to temporary leave his grouper gang. While he was temporarily out of that gang. His grouper buddies pass a law that made the Corney’s, "Wasilly Smelly Business" the only business in town where the worms could any garbage collection service.
The Carney brothers were getting rich, so rich in fact, that they were able to finance Rat Corney back into the Grouper-Big-Fish gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska.
They had so much money that they were able to get Domineering Corney into the head position at the Wasilly Chamber of Commerce.
They also bought Domineering a seat on the Wasilly City Council.
With their combined power they were getting lots of big state; borough and city contracts.
Bingo:
The Corney brothers were able to legally run any competition in the
"Garbage Collection Business" out of business.
The Corney brothers had seceded in created a legislated MONOPOLY with the help of the gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska.
The Rat also had the Bag-Fish-Egg gang to enforce there Financial gouging of the worms.
The Corney big fish were gouging the worms so bad that the worms started to find other places to get their garbage collection services.
They found, Tiny Tim Little Fish.
Now Tiny Tim Little Fish is a hungry minnow that knew if he gave the worms better service, or tastier garbage in this case, for a better price that the worms would help him grow into a full grown fish.
The word got around and a lot of the worms started taking their "Smelly Business" to Tiny Tim.
This didn't go over very well with the Corney brothers and they hired the Bad-Fish-Egg gang to put the bite on Tiny Tim.
It wasn't long after the election in 92, in which the Rat won, that "APUC Alaskan People Up a Creek?" had Tiny Tim in a fish bowl and were FORCE FEEDING the worms on the Corney brothers "Wasilly Smelly Business" garbage.
The moral of this story; It you don't like being force feed the Corney brother's inferior garbage for a superior price then, DO SOME THING ABOUT IT. Write to the Grouper-Big-Fish gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska. and address it to the Grouper-Big-Fish ethics committee!
Alaska State Ethies Committee
State Capital Juneau, Alaska.
99801-1182
The moral of the story. Don't piss off big brother you might find yourself looking for a new country to live in.
This satire was pinned by James (Jim) Bridges in 1992.
Legend;
Wasilly Smelly Business. is really Wasilla Refuse.
Wasilly, Alaska is really Wasilla, Alaska
Rat Corney is really Pat Carney (politician).
Domineering Corney is really Pat's brother Dominic.
Grouper-Big-Fish Gang is really Alaska legislators.
Any-Gore-Age is really Anchorage.
APUC is really Alaska Public Utilities Commission.
Also known as Alaska people up a Creek.
Tiny Tim Little Fish is really a Small 2 truck business.
Jew-You-Know-Who is really Juno Alaska state capital.
Dear Editor,
I am writing you about another Alaska Fish Story.
It take place in the small town of Wasilly, Alaska.
This town is not a real town of course. The people that live in Wasilly
are not real people either. They are really just little worms and several big fish.
You see this town of worms is controlled by the big fish that are getting fat off the worms.
The two main villains in this story are a couple of crooked big fish by the names of Rat Corney and his nasty brother Domineering Corney.
There have a crew which consist of:
The Grouper-Big-Fish Gang in the capital called, Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska. The Corney brothers control the Bad-Fish-Egg Gang in Any-Gore-Age, Alaska. The Bad-Fish-Egg Gang call themselves APUC. APUC stands for “Alaska People Up a Creek" which is just where the Corney brothers want to keep the worms in and around Wasilly.
Rat lost his run for reelection and had to temporary leave his grouper gang. While he was temporarily out of that gang. His grouper buddies pass a law that made the Corney’s, "Wasilly Smelly Business" the only business in town where the worms could any garbage collection service.
The Carney brothers were getting rich, so rich in fact, that they were able to finance Rat Corney back into the Grouper-Big-Fish gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska.
They had so much money that they were able to get Domineering Corney into the head position at the Wasilly Chamber of Commerce.
They also bought Domineering a seat on the Wasilly City Council.
With their combined power they were getting lots of big state; borough and city contracts.
Bingo:
The Corney brothers were able to legally run any competition in the
"Garbage Collection Business" out of business.
The Corney brothers had seceded in created a legislated MONOPOLY with the help of the gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska.
The Rat also had the Bag-Fish-Egg gang to enforce there Financial gouging of the worms.
The Corney big fish were gouging the worms so bad that the worms started to find other places to get their garbage collection services.
They found, Tiny Tim Little Fish.
Now Tiny Tim Little Fish is a hungry minnow that knew if he gave the worms better service, or tastier garbage in this case, for a better price that the worms would help him grow into a full grown fish.
The word got around and a lot of the worms started taking their "Smelly Business" to Tiny Tim.
This didn't go over very well with the Corney brothers and they hired the Bad-Fish-Egg gang to put the bite on Tiny Tim.
It wasn't long after the election in 92, in which the Rat won, that "APUC Alaskan People Up a Creek?" had Tiny Tim in a fish bowl and were FORCE FEEDING the worms on the Corney brothers "Wasilly Smelly Business" garbage.
The moral of this story; It you don't like being force feed the Corney brother's inferior garbage for a superior price then, DO SOME THING ABOUT IT. Write to the Grouper-Big-Fish gang in Jew-You-Know-Who, Alaska. and address it to the Grouper-Big-Fish ethics committee!
Alaska State Ethies Committee
State Capital Juneau, Alaska.
99801-1182
The moral of the story. Don't piss off big brother you might find yourself looking for a new country to live in.
